14 of the 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 thoughts going through my brainscape:
- I’m 30. I can’t shop at Forever 21. First of all, I’m a Large…. and the shorts are still waay too tiny. Secondly, I look much better in Anthropologie clothes.
- I’m worth it.
- Yea. So I just stress-ate a bag of potato chips. At least I just bought the small bag and not the giant bag… even though the giant bag was on sale. I’m alright!
- I wish I had claws so I could scratch my cat back.
- At least I have scissors to give my cat awkward hair cuts when he’s sleeping.
- I can’t sing, unless I’m alone and I’m pretending like I’m Adele… and then I still can’t sing.
- No, sir. Laundromat flirting is not my thing. I see you trying to find an ‘in’. Also… the fact that you’re wearing a bluetooth and that you brought your own wooden hangers to the laundromat makes it clear to me that you’re a serial killer. I’ve seen CSI. I’ve seen Dexter. COME ON!
- Well, if Hoarders weren’t such a mind-bending show, I wouldn’t have to watch it. It’s really not my fault.
- I’ll write that email… but first I’ll eat this cold burrito.
- I’m looking at you and secretly wondering if you’re an extreme couponer.
- Can I deep fry cupcakes? No.
- Some girls cry when they’re sad. I cry when I’m bonkers angry. That must be really creepy to people. Like… killer creepy.
- When did girls start wearing fake hair and fake eyelashes!? Ladies… come on. Can we all just work on the same playing field? Geez. You’re really making my hair look mousy.
- What kind of scones should I make? I know… sweet everything bagels… Everything Scones! I’m a genius.
Toasted coconut is one of my favorite smells.
I wish my hair could smell like this all the time.
Scones. Why not just throw in everything!? By the handful… with buttermilk.
Come on! This is how we should live everyday.
If you don’t think this looks like a blessing from the heavens… we’re not friends.
If you don’t think this looks like a blessing from the heavens… then you’re not a ninja. That’s a problem.
Toasty, buttery, and soft. Studded with almonds, chocolate and coconut. A mouthful of breakfast goodness! Add a big dollop of cherry jam and shut.it.up! The best breakfast everyday.
Chocolate Coconut Almond Scones
makes about 8 to 10 scones
3 cups all-purpose flour
2 tablespoons raw or granulated sugar
3 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, cold and cut into cubes
1 large egg
3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons buttermilk
1/3 cup shredded coconut (sweetened or unsweetened)
1/3 cup slivered almonds
1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
buttermilk and sugar for topping before baking
Place a rack in the center of the oven and preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Place shredded coconut and slivered almonds on a baking sheet and toast in the oven for about 8 to 10 minutes. Keep your eye on the coconut. It browns quickly. Remove from the oven when toasted and allow to cool. Heat oven to 400 degrees F. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper and set aside.
In a large bowl, whisk together flour sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.
Toss the cold butter cubes into the flour mixture. Using your hands, quickly work in the butter into the flour mixture, breaking it up with your fingers. Some butter bits will be the size of small pebbles, and some will be the size of oat flakes. Set in the fridge for a few minutes.
Whisk together buttermilk and egg.
Remove the flour and butter mixture from the fridge and add coconut, almonds, and chocolate chips. Whisk together and create a well in the center of the mixture. Add the buttermilk mixture all at once to the well. Use a fork to bring the wet and the dry ingredients together. Mixture will be shaggy. Lightly flour a work surface and dump the shaggy dough mixture out onto the counter. Bring together the dough with your hands into a 1 1/2-inch thick disk . Use a 2 1/2-inch round biscuit cutter to cut out biscuits. Flour the biscuit cutter if it starts to stick to the dough.
Place biscuits, about 1 inch apart, on the prepared baking sheets. Brush with a bit of buttermilk and a few pinches of raw or granulated sugar. Bake biscuits for 14-18 minutes, until golden brown and cooked through. Remove from the oven and serve warm, with jam.