I moved from Los Angeles to Burlington, Vermont when I was eighteen years old. I decided, with all of my eighteen years of wisdom, that I didn’t want to rush off to college, and that instead… I would rush off to scoop ice cream for Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream in Vermont.
Brilliant!
From my bedroom, safe within the walls of my parents’ house, I was so certain of so many things. I would sit on my bed at night and pat myself on the back for the courage innate in my decision to move across the country. I felt bold and sure. It’s so easy to be bold and sure when you’re parents are sitting in the next room.
I packed my bags, boarded a plane to New Hampshire, boarded a bus to Vermont, put my feet on the ground and proceeded to f.r.e.a.k o.u.t. My parents weren’t in the next room. I wasn’t surrounded by a binding support system. What do you mean I have to pay my own light bills!? This is thoroughly confusing and 100% terrifying.
Shortly after landing in Vermont, my trusty eighteen years of experience quickly began to falter. Obviously.
A new friend was kind enough to let me stay in her small and charming Burlington apartment while she stayed with her girlfriend. She gave me a key, a tour of her collection of Dave Matthews and Ella Fitzgerald CDs and I closed the door on the big scary world I felt totally ill-prepared for.
Over the course of a week in my new surroundings I didn’t leave the house. Not once. Nope! Are you kidding? Outside was filled with strangers! Instead of exploring, I ate every last bit of food my host had in her cabinets. She had just gone apple picking, I remember. If she was hoping to make apple sauce upon her return, she was sore out of luck.
I ate a lot of apples. I took a lot of baths. I listened to waaaay too much Dave Matthews Band. I searched for that bravery I had previously been so proud of.
I found that courage eventually… mostly because I had only eaten apples for a week and I needed a sandwich. Hunger drove me out. Stepping off the porch and into the streets of Burlington felt big. Like I was alone in a thing and I had to learn how to make it work… and also manage figure out how to learn some things and have some fun.
With the thirty-two years of experience I have now, stepping out of the door in a new place isn’t as hard. It’s mostly dang exciting. Thank goodness years come with little bits of wisdom.
Still though… a few days ago I found myself hibernating here in New Orleans. For a few moments I could feel the strangeness of the ground below my feet. I understand that feeling now and try to make it more energizing than frightening.
All of this is to say that, in the strangeness… when I was trying to find my courage over my fear, I reached for a jar and stirred two things together. Sometimes the small things help to distract the mind.
Megan Gordon has some wonderfully simple instructions for infused honey in her new book Whole Grain Mornings. I reached for a vanilla bean and a jar of honey and this is the culmination of those efforts.
Small and big. It’s all allowed.
This honey is equal parts simple and decadent. I used a thick raw honey, warmed it just slightly and stirred in vanilla bean seeds. This honey is supreme is black breakfast tea or afternoon coffee. I also plan of spreading it onto peanut butter slathered toast.
Here we are and here we go!
Vanilla Honey
makes 1 cup
1 cup honey
1 vanilla bean, split
Place honey in a small saucepan over very low heat.
Split a vanilla bean lengthwise down the center and scrape out the seeds. Place the seeds into the warming honey and stir to incorporate.
Use the vanilla bean pod for Homemade Vanilla Extract or just toss it into your sugar jar for extra special sugar.
Allow the honey to warm slightly, but not boil. We just want to warm it to thoroughly incorporate and help bring out the flavors of the vanilla. Remove from heat and transfer to a small jar with a tight-fitting lid. Use in your morning coffee or afternoon tea.
59 Responses
This is one of those stories that just makes you smile.
What’s funny is you moved from LA to Vermont and were frightened of the big, bad world. I would think moving to LA would be a daunting experience.
Joy, what you wrote about being outside of your comfort zone resonated with me. I have moved around a lot in my 29 years, and it was not always easy to feel a sense of home. The little things–like your favorite album or cookie recipe–can truly feel monumental in moments like those. Let yourself find comfort in what’s familiar while so much newness surrounds you!
I love that you use a wooden spoon in your honey. I cringe when I see metal in honey. I recently moved for a job and it’s terrifying. I can’t wait until this begins to feel more of a home than my previous place.
Thanks for this post, I’m in a new place too, but with less self-assurance and wisdom! Best wishes on your new adventure :)
I never realized you lived in Vermont. I moved from Vermont to LA where I lived for 5 years before moving back to VT. I can appreciate your post:)
love and can totally relate to this post, thank you for sharing your story!
I love you, Joy. I totally know that feeling. I spent three months in Paris when I was sixteen, fresh out of highscool; surrounded by grown ups at my language school, and totally confused. I didn’t learn a lot about Paris (a little, even so), but I did learn a lot about myself. As you say, thank goodness for bits of wisdom with passing years. Also, your stories and pictures of New Orleans are filling me wistfulness for me and excitement for you. New Orleans is one of my dream places, you know, the ones that haunt you though you don’t know them? I’ve never been, but I’m living it through your discovery and the journey is rich and invigorating. So thanks!
Really just a lovely post, Joy.
You were a brave 18 year old! Congrats on the new move! This honey looks delicious too!
Yum! It’s amazing how cooking (or even just stirring) can ground us and make everything okay.
Hi Joy! Thank you for sharing your journey. While I haven’t completely moved away, my husband and I are spending 3 months in England for his work. It’s scary and hard in a lot of ways, but I have appreciated many of the things you’ve said lately. You’re much better at putting feelings into words than I am. This time has been good for me, though, as I grow in new ways, and learn to rely on the Lord in new ways. Your blog is such an encouragement to me. You inspire me in so many ways. Thank you for being a blessing!
Go to CC’s Community Coffee on Magazine Street in the Garden district. Order an iced tea, sit in the courtyard, watch people walk by and I assure you that you will feel right at home.
of course, as usual, i love many things about this post. but i have to say: i think what i love most is the lighting and that table! so lovely and bright and worn and homey-good.
Joy, I am a regular follower of your blog but have never left a comment. This post struck a chord…my 18 year old daughter is getting ready to graduate HS in a couple of months and then both she and her horse move from our home in San Francisco to the “outer banks” of Philadelphia, PA where she will compete and travel with her horse for a {gap} year before attending college in Philadelphia the following year. Many years ago that girl was me, plopped down in France {and I couldn’t speak French}…talk about hibernation! In that year, among many other lessons, I learned to speak fluent French and became a “European” driver. Scary as it seems, it is amazing what you can do/learn when all of your senses are submerged in the unfamiliar. KUDOS to you for heading into unchartered waters…as the saying goes: “A ship at harbor is safe…but that is not what ships are for.” I have introduced you to my daughter and I believe you may have a new young follower.
this comment means so much to me, Kristin! it’s a big world we have to go and see. best of luck to your daughter! i’ll be thinking of you all! xo!
Hurray for you in being so brave once again. We just moved from CA to TX and although unsettling it’s also exciting, which I why I bet you ventured out once again. Time is a big healer. And no better place to be welcomed than the friendly south. Can’t wait to try out this recipe knowing that it’s helped someone else feel at home in a new place.
It makes me so happy to see you using that little wooden spoon. Hugs from Los Angeles Friend xo
love this little gem! thank you my friend!
Yum! Making tea now, but not before I make this honey! Love hearing of your travels!
That honey would be so good on granola with apricots (love honey and apricots for whatever reason) and on plain yogurt…and on vanilla ice cream! Have never used raw honey but it looks more ‘sugar crystal-y’ than regular honey? Or is it just more opaque?
it’s so cool that you moved to new orleans. i have been itching to make a bold move some place completely new and your courage is inspiring.
hey joy!! the south is a fabulous place to need to rub elbows with strangers. :) everyone loves to help one another out–especially to acclimate newcomers. stay strong and breathe. i have found your banana bourbon chocolate chip bread to work wonders. ha!! i live not too far away from new orleans and look forward to some southern book signings and the like! psalms 24:1
I only peek your life through your blog. It shouldn’t really matter that much if you are in New Orlean or Los Angeles, but just by looking at photos I can feel strangeness. The view, the light, the table, it’s all different. I’m excited for you, moving out is addicting. I hate packing, I love making places my own. I can’t wait to hear more about New Orlean. Enjoy and I hope your cat is well, I know changes can freak them out more than us.
You are the reason to make me smile when I need it
It’s always difficult to move someplace new. I can understand staying inside your new home for a bit. I think it’s the beginning of feeling your home and safe.
I like the idea of vanilla honey I will have to try it.
Good Luck in your new place may you eventually feel Blessed to live there,
I can totally relate. I was 18 years old and moved 1200 miles away from my parents, friends, and everything I ever knew to go to college and record a music project. I really went into hibernation mode for a while after I moved to Washington. It took me forcing myself out into the world (which is very unlike me), and numerous coffee houses, to meet some amazing people and build friendships that I will have forever. I just wanted to stay inside and eat cereal but knew I couldn’t do that forever. Eventually I had to go buy groceries! :) Thank you for this post and the vanilla honey looks so delicious!
Whenever I feel like hiding away at home (and many times I do, being a pretty constant wanderer), I always think of that Baz Luhrmann recording, “(Everybody’s Free) to Wear Sunscreen.” In it, he says, “Do one thing every day that scares you.” That’s become my daily mantra, and some mornings, it’s the only thing that motivates me to leave the house and get things done. Maybe listening to that recording will help you too, when you’re feeling afraid.
so good. i’m taking this with me!
That sounds awesome! I make ‘honey butter’ – I mix about two parts soft (not melted!) butter to one part honey and add a good shake of cinnamon to it. I have a few vanilla beans sitting in my pantry – I’ll have to try this!
An amazing and yet SO SIMPLE recipe. Delicious.
I know what you mean – I moved to Phoenix five (going on six?) years ago and I’m still a hermit (STRANGER DANGER!) I should probably get out there more but that is hard and scary. I think I”ll just stay inside a little longer…
mmm! This sounds delicious!
Also, for the record, I think you’re wonderfully brave for moving half way across the country by yourself. I’m not sure if I would have the courage to do so (or maybe I would given the chance), either way I think it’s wonderful that you’re chasing your own adventures.
xoxo
Taylor
http://www.welcomehometaylor.com
Excellent story! One because I can totally relate, two because it has Vermont in it (I’m from VT) and three it included two of my favourite men (Ben and Jerry). I turn 37 this year and I still have moments/weeks like that. It’s been nearly two years since I moved to Australia and somedays I just need to pull the covered back over my head and avoid it all for just a few more minutes and then, like you, I put my big girls pants on, take a big deep breath, open the door and march out into the world like I know what I’m doing!
I made some vanilla honey a few weeks ago and drizzled it over some blueberry spelt pancakes. So amazing! And i fully relate to your post. I have moved. Many a times and theres always that moment of truth when you have to decide between hiding and feeling paralyzed and just going full force into the adventure.
the transition with newness and hardness of change doesn’t dissipate with an adventurous spirit. i’ve always had an adventurous spirit – moving to new orleans 3 yrs. ago came with it’s own excitement but also new cities can bring a bit of loneliness. if you need any recommendations of churches, cafes or hole in the wall joints, feel free to inquire.
i appreciate you so much!
the anxious nerves of a traveler, a wanderer, a mover…i find there is comfort in them, despite how unsettled they leave us. remember these nerves – they are the manifestation of your hopes of what great adventures are yet to come in this new space you call your own.
daaang your words are good!
This sounds amazing! Love it and def gonna try it out :)
https://recipe-suitcase.blogspot.com
I have moved a couple times, once when I was too young to really notice and then two more times for college and grad school. Every time started out miserably as I missed my friends and life from my previous location. But every time I ended up having great experiences and in the end didn’t want to move when the next step arrived. P.S. this honey is simple, yet still blows my mind just thinking about all the lovely ways to use it. Especially like the idea of adding it toast with peanut butter.
keep the vanilla infusing recipes coming! I have a lot of vanilla beans leftover in my pantry because i made (your) homemade vanilla as v-day gifts for friends. i ordered a large quantity offline because it was cheaper than buying them 2 pods at a time at the grocery store. by the by, love these little glimpses into your life!
I know what it’s like moving to a new place by yourself – so strange, but then you remember why you moved there in the first place and it all makes sense. Plus, hibernating once and a while can be fun! Love this honey, joy!
There is a fine line between exciting and scary….may exciting out number the scary
Raw honey makes all the difference! I’ll have to try it with vanilla beans.
https://acricketsang.blogspot.com/
You always keep it real, and that inspires me.
Love your story! You are truly so brave.
Vanilla honey sounds amazing! I’m glad you’re braver now and able to venture out in the world :-)
I read your blog daily, and I don’t think that I’ve ever commented…but Burlington is bringing me out of hiding. :) I moved to Vermont (Colchester…so basically Burlington) from Fresno, CA just over 20 years ago. I still hibernate sometimes! I’m visiting NOLA for the first time in May. I’d love to know what must-visit spots you recommend!
I am absolutely going to make this. It looks and it sounds delicious!!!
I hope you continue to feel more at home and more comfortable in your new place. I am having toast and honey for breakfast and will be dreaming about this wonderful vanilla version.
I think staying in your new residence is the perfect way to get a feel for new recipes. There is nothing more exciting than learning the quirks if your new kitchen!
Joy, I can totally relate. While in the end I did make myself leave my apartment aside from going across the street to Trader Joe’s (which was intimidating in itself!) when I first moved to Los Angeles I just wanted to hibernate in my apartment for a bit too! I would only go to places I could viably walk to as the bus system scared me. You’re looking at the girl who in the September sun (remember that heatwave we had year before last) walked from Westwood to Brentwood Country Mart one day, and on another day walked from Westwood to Beverly Hills via Century City. Thank god for Google Maps!
From the comment from your Mom to all the people worldwide rooting for you, it is obvious that so many people wish you well! Thank you for these words and a lovely recipe. Wishing you lots of happiness and laughter in New Orleans!
Having also moved from Cali to NOLA, I can very much relate. Just remember to take it one day at a time and to breathe. Luckily, the Crescent City is a very friendly and welcoming place . . . it’s also not a bad place in which to hibernate (especially when it rains like it did yesterday)!
Your Mom’s comment is the sweetest thing ever! It’s great to have so much love and support as you make big changes in your life. It’s also good to have good food – vanilla honey looks simply perfect and perfectly simple. Thanks for sharing!
Deep breaths. I can feel what you’re going through. I’ve lived in 6 states in my adult life, until finally putting down roots in SoCal. But with each new state and not knowing a soul, that feeling of omg what am I doing here hits. Sometimes very hard. You are strong, Joy! And your honey…is beautiful. pinned
Joy, I totally feel for you. I have moved cross country from the capital city to another metro about 10 days back and am still in the finding my feet phase. This despite the fact that this metro was my home for close to 9 years and I am familiar with most parts of the city. But things change constantly these days. Your old favourites change. Your job changes. You change….
It’s something about adaptation against the force of habit that best describes the initial two/three months I guess. No matter whether you move back to a city you used to live in, or a completely new one.
I still haven’t set up my own kitchen. But I plan to make this vanilla honey very soon.
Oh, Joy! Dad and I remember well those times. You were very certain about what you wanted to do. Even when the school principal stated that only one in your graduating class was not going to college. You were headed to Vermont and we had to let you go.
Interesting now to read how it went for you in the beginning. You didn’t let on. Just so you know we were here rooting and praying for you. Many years later we are very proud of you and wish you the best on your most recent move to New Orleans.
This post is so perfect! Such an evolution, and well-written. I barely blog anymore, but your post has inspired me to reconsider. I wrote a similar post when moving from Chicago to SF: https://chiknpastry.wordpress.com/2011/02/16/homemade-vanilla-extract/
Change is a good thing – can’t wait to see how your new life unfolds!
Thanks for sharing! I went through a similar experience not too long ago (except it was Massachusetts instead of Vermont and pasta instead of apples). Glad to know the scariness of venturing out into the world will wear off. c: