[H]ave you met my cat-animal named TRON? ย The cat previously known as Jules Cat Stevens (an entirely unfitting name for this beast of an animal)? TRON is the fluffy, hungry, lazy, crazy creature I let live in my house. ย Not only do I let him live with me, but I feed him, well and plentifully. ย He’s part wolverine, part shark, and cat so he deserves the best (and a lot of it), so I was thrilled when the folks at Beyond Natural Cat Food approached me about working together on a series celebrating my cat! ย Just let it happen… In the coming weeks I’m even designing the perfect CatLady Gift Set (yessss), as well as tips on how to keep your cat healthy and happy.
Over our four short years together, I’ve gotten to know this TRONCAT very well. ย He has taught me a handful of lessons about naps, balance, patience, judgement, and good food.
If you have a cat (or pet shark) of your own I’m sure you can relate to one, if not all of the following lessons and nuggets of life advice from TRONCAT.
Thank you in advance for letting my inner CatLady shine.
1.ย Every time is nap time. ย That means when the little hand on a clock is on any number, and the big hand on a clock is also on any number… you should probably nap. ย Go on and get it. ย Rest is important.
2. ย You’ve seen your human (that girl who feeds you) MEOW the lyrics to songs. ย Meowing is universal and especially effective at dinnertime.
3.ย Here’s why a hiss is effective. ย It’s understated and reveals fangs. ย No need to be loud or over the top. ย Keep calm but show everyone you’re serious. Also… you have claws for backup, but generally an understated hiss will get your point across.
4. ย Most people are the worst people. ย Unless, of course, they’re wearing black pants for you to rub your orange fur against… or unless they’re the person that feeds you delicious food.
5. ย Scratch the people you love LESS than you scratch the people you don’t like… like, a lot less. ย Also consider throwing your loved ones the occasional cuddle but always end the cuddle with a scratch across the knee. ย Be nice, but not too nice.
6. ย Run away from home exactly ONCE. ย Always come home. ย Remember, you don’t have to chase the food that falls in your bowl indoors. ย Your human places it there because she makes good choices and let’s face it… napping takes priority over chasing food outdoors.
photo by Hannah McSwain
7. ย If people are eating it, it’s probably delicious and you should go ahead and help yourself… or at least try to. ย Most delicious among the food that humans eat in front of you: ย salmon, chicken, eggs, sweet potatoes (all actual ingredients in ย Beyond Natural Cat Food), and occasionally ALL of the pudding.
8. ย Always let people think they can rub your belly. ย Put it out there. ย Play vulnerable and available. ย Maybe even tolerate a belly rub for approximately 2.6 seconds after which, attack at will. ย No one gets the belly.
9. ย You’re allowed to sit in your chair (aka throne) and judge everything that passes by. ย Mostly what passes by is your lady-human with butter and her camera. ย She’s ridiculous. ย Judge her at will… until she feeds you.
10. ย Landing on your feet is both instinct and practice. ย Stay sharp, stay hungry.
If you have a cat you know how special (and sometimes terrifying) that relationship can be. ย They’re sometimes snuggly, sometimes wall-climbing companions that work their way into your heart despite their sharp claws.
This post is brought to us by Beyond Natural Cat Food. ย No corn, wheat, soy, gnarly by-products, or artificial colors or preservatives. Just the real food I give to TRONCAT to keep him extra sassy, nappy, and wise. ย To try it yourself, click here!
68 Responses
What a fun fab post. Love No 9 :)
I have two little monsters…umm I mean kittens…at home. I was literally dying over this post. Thanks for sharing and shine on Cat Lady, shine on!
My cat, Smudge, has some of these qualities, but is a little different; this is more Clementine’s modus operandi. He adores attention and sits on my keyboard and bats at the cursor as I type. He also MUST sleep on my pillow (yuck, but I appreciate it). And meows for me to snuggle with him. He also fetches (a trait I accidentally discovered when he was a kitten when this piece of wadded up typing paper kept reappearing next to my lap as I was reading that day)! He is 17 1/2 years old and still loves to fetch. Oh, and he loves it when I put him on a “rug sled” and swoosh him all over the house on the hard wood floors. Hilarious to watch. He holds on for dear life, but loves it and won’t jump off. And lastly, he loves it when I change my sheets (often with 5 affectionate dogs and two cats). I flap the flat sheet up in the air over him and h goes crazy batting at it and jumping around like, well, a cat, but more so. Haha. And the dogs all FEAR him!
Sorry for the length, enjoyed your article and it inspired me to share :).
Oh, and congrats on the Beyond deal!
Our fluffy orange monster is nicknamed Le Roi…because he is the king of all he surveys.
another 2 additions…
-It’s 3 am and you’re bowl is empty. well almost empty. well, not really empty, but you can see a tiny sliver of the bottom of the bowl. you’re job is to never let your bowl go empty. it must mean it’s time to wake your lady by jumping on her and licking her nose so as to notify her of the empty hole where food used to be.
-If you’re lady is screaming at you, it means you are probably doing a good job. Continue to do what you’re doing, especially if it’s climbing on the counters and knocking over full glasses of liquid or plants.
Thank You Joy for sharing your inner cat lady. I too have one (an inner cat lady)and this makes me want to run home to snuggle the kitties!
I watched the Hunger Games this weekend & would like you to know that your cat is built to survive military bombings. King cat.
Amazing made me smile and laugh.. You got an adorable Cat
My theory is that cats aren’t really domesticated–the only reason we get along with them is that they’re small. Imagine what your cat would be like if it was twice as large! Yikes!
My cat is already gigantic Wendy, and I’m terrified sometimes. I couldn’t even begin to imagine if he were people sized.
Cats are so weird! We are not cat people, and yet here we are with two – Pete and Bootstrap Bill. And even though they pee and barf EVERYWHERE we still feed them. There just is absolutely nothing as peaceful and life-affirming as a cat napping.
Haha that photo is amazing! Nice post!
I haven’t been here in a while. I am sorry to see your cat’s been renamed. I liked his original name. I hope he has learned his new identity!