Hello my dears!
Welcome to another fine day! I hope this finds you with, if nothing else, warm feet. I hate when my feet are cold.
This week I’ve been putting as much sugar in my coffee as I want because some weeks you remember that life is short and coffee needs sugar. I’ve also been working on a kitchen organizing challenge that I’ll invite you to join me in soon (with very little pressure and expectation). Making the challenge a thing for you has held me accountable when I’d very much like to slip away and do literally anything besides clean the kitchen. Making the challenge has also prompted me to clean my refrigerator and roast almost everything in it, see above. More on all that come next Friday, February 1st.
I’m headed to New York early next week where I will be wearing a very large lavender coat, taking a few meetings, gazing at this exhibit at the Guggenheim, and drinking a martini with one Cara Nicoletti. If you see me in the streets, say hey. (Why would you see me in the streets, that literally never happens, but wow wouldn’t that be great if it did!?)
As with last week, the offering this week is on the lighter side. You give what you need, ya know? I appreciate that you’re here and that you read and leave such thoughtful comments. As always, take what you need and leave what you don’t.
• My favorite read this week asks this question: are we in charge of the ways we change? The Art of Decision-Making (The New Yorker)
• No. The Bulletproof Coffee Founder Has Spent $1 Million In His Quest To Live To 180. Gosh… men and their assumption that we need them to live forever. Wow wow wow. (Men’s Health)
• Resting is not a weakness. Go to bed! Brain researchers warn that lack of sleep is a public health crisis. (The Washington Post)
• You’ve probably already taken this journey but boy-howdy, if you haven’t, drink this in: Fyre – the greatest party that never happened. (Netflix)
• Stop, drop, and listen to Weezer’s surprise new cover album: The Teal Album (Spotify)
• This month marks the 20th anniversary of the show The Sopranos. I never watched it, but this Fresh Air interview has inspired me to fire it up. (NPR)
• My next passion is to make you slow cooking videos. (Taste)
• I think he just have to realize that Instagram is very much a curated version of reality and does not include breast pumping bras as often as they exist: The Invisible Reality of Brand New Motherhood on Instagram. (Wired)
• I appreciate these real thoughts from our friend Ashley: Cooking With My Kids Can Be Hard (But I Love It). (Food 52)
• This past week I’ve been preparing you a kitchen cleaning challenge that will launch February 1st. I’d love for you to join in! Be sure to follow me on Instagram – that’s where it’ll all go down! xo
• While we’re cleaning our feelings: 30 Brilliant Organizing Ideas from The Kitchn.
• Here’s what I’m making today: Browned Butter Rice Krispie Treats. (Joy the Baker)
• I’m very suspicious of all the Dry Clean Only tags in my closet. There really is so much we can hand wash! Martha knows: How To Hand Wash Cashmere and Wool. (Martha Stewart)
• Just trying to get my summer looks together, you know? Selfie Swimsuit. (I’m sorry) (Etsy)
Enjoy this day! Wow how lucky we are!
My love to you!
xo Joy
Betsy
I usually pay people on the NYC streets no mind. But now I’m on the lookout! (I mean that in a totally non-stalkerish way:)
Meredith
Saw that Hilma af Klint exhibit last week and it is really lovely and thoughtful and very modern. Two things you may like if you have time while you’re here: the golden turmeric latte with oat milk at Hutch and Waldo (not too far from the Guggenheim) and the brown sugar peach upside down cake at Bakeri in Williamsburg or Greenpoint.
joythebaker
I’m going to put these two things in my phone for my next visit to New York! Thank you Meredith! And gosh wasn’t the af Kling exhibit incredible!?
Raluca
That article on the Bulletproof guy was just crazy. I mean, I can’t even get my head around everything there, but an interesting read anyway. Going to read about decision making next, I srsly need help with that.
And yes, I would love to run into you on the streets of NY or any other city. Too bad I’m on a different continent :)) But lemme know if you ever visit Central-Eastern Europe :D
joythebaker
I’m so glad we can run into each other here at least! Big love to you!
Emily
I think people need to tune in to how Instagram makes them feel and find a different community when it’s hurting them. New motherhood was really hard for me too. I was lucky enough to have an online group of moms whose babies were all born in January. We originally met on The Bump and then migrated to a Facebook group. It was invaluable — you couldn’t overshare because everyone was going through the same thing, and you actually had someone to talk to at 2 am because they were up too. Instagram is never going to be that place.
joythebaker
I’m glad you found your right place. Invaluable is the exact right word.
Terry
I too am cleaning and organizing my fridge today Not sure there will be thing worth roasting., but it must be done!
Whitney
I immediately sent the swimsuit selfie link to my sister-in-laws since we’re planning a cruise for my mother-in-law’s 70th bday. What better time to have one?! I think we’ll go classy with an old school photo ;)
I can somewhat identify with the new mom article. For me, though, the issue was not having money to buy cute new clothes I thought I would only be wearing briefly, so I stuck it out i my maternity jeans much longer than I should have. You just never know what your body will be like and how things will go. Luckily, I think there are so many moms online and in real life who are very honest about their experiences. For example, I really benefited from pelvic floor physical therapy and think that it wasn’t even a known resource in previous generations. Also, my fave nursing hack is wearing a tank top under pretty much any shirt that you can just pull up while still having your stomach covered and not using a cover—would not have thought of that one on my own!
joythebaker
I really hope the swimsuit selfies work out! And thanks for your generous share Whitney. I’m glad you’re here.
Jessie
Hi Joy,
Just wanted to stop in to say how much I so enjoy this weekly post, and all the thought that goes into it. Thank you!
DPLK
HI Joy, thanks for all the great links always. To echo Megan’s comment above, I don’t think my experience (my daughter is 4 now) of being a new mom was quite as dramatic as the author in the Wired story. Was I unprepared for the difficulty of breastfeeding and had to go through a major meltdown before I could accept that I would pump exclusively for my daughter? Yes. But goodness gracious, there are plenty of resources on the internet for new moms, including my favorite site that I wanted to share who whomever might need it: https://pregnantchicken.com/. So full of articles that address every new mom’s questions, very nonjudgmental and advocating for acceptance of all different paths of feeding your child and motherhood survival (assuming safety of course). (I have no affiliation to that site, just love this website.) Also, there are plenty of “post-partum” friendly clothes to buy at Old Navy and Gap and LOFT etc under the title “nursing”. I bought a few snap down front tees that were for nursing and LIVED in them, along with yoga pants. I know people who did well with oversized button down shirts, etc. I do think that article is a little written for click-baiting and comment-inducing polarity. I don’t know if Instagram is really that bad, I only joined relatively recently, but sure the adverts are scary in how they know what you have been looking at otherwise in your phone!
DPLK
Also, Joy, you posted an article on the same topic on last week’s Let it Be Sunday, but of a different angle–that new moms ignore all the advice that seasoned moms around us try to give because we’re all caught up in our fantasies of how motherhood is supposed to be, and then complain that there are no resources out there, in an endless vicious cycle: https://www.thecut.com/2019/01/why-do-new-moms-want-to-ignore-advice-from-seasoned-moms.html). Basically we are always despairing of not having resources but ignoring the ones that are around us. This may be some sort of cultural statement – how do we have such a wealth of information and social networking but somehow we all end up feeling isolated, without community, and without resources, and either feeling judged or judging ourselves for not fitting to what we perceive the “ideal” should be?? Food for thought.
joythebaker
It seems like new motherhood highlights cracks in community but also highlights our deep need for it. I’m not a mother but it surely seems like the most intense time that everyone navigates differently and with their absolute best of intentions.
Natalie
Just because you clearly had an easy time transitioning to motherhood doesn’t mean that we all did. Stop judging fellow moms for not having the same experience or resources. Shame on you.
Dottie
I would love to run into you on the streets of New York. Even better, join you and Cara for a martini. The museum exhibit looks very cool. Enjoy!
Sleep, especially in the winter, is one of my favorite things. I love crawling under the covers where it is soft and warm. I also love sleeping in on the weekends. I dream of the time when I do not have to get up earlier than I choose to on weekdays.
I recommend David Lebovitz’s post on slow cooking “Slow as it goes.” Very funny. But, as I mentioned on my blog, I was frustrated I wanted the the recipe. But, that’s okay because he shared where it came from.
Happy week.
Vicki
Hello. I lobe to pin recipes that you publish to find and make in the future, but sometimes I can’t find a link to Pinterest for the recipe. Sometimes it’s available either a “Share” button, but many times not. any hints? Thanks for all you do!
joythebaker
Hi Vicki! I might have deactivated that Pin button. Let me check on that for you!
Chrissy
Ok, the selfie swimsuit is horrendous and I do fear that I will see more than one this summer. Dear God. Also, thank you for the sweater washing tip since I have two sweaters that I have not worn at all yet this winter because of laziness and dread over trekking to the dry cleaner. You are saving my sanity and my wardrobe all in one link. Have fun in New York!
Sandra Garth
I watched Fyre! WOW WOW WOW!
joythebaker
Correct.
Megan
As a new mom, I appreciate the article on the perils of new mom-targeted Instagram ads. While my experience admittedly was much less painful and easier than the author described (not bragging, just honesty), I definitely feared and was warned her experience easily could have been mine. It’s really just the roll of the dice when you are pregnant, depending on your genetics and so many other factors (some in your control, but most not).
In this time of women’s walks, #Metoo, and all the other feminist resurgencies happening, I’m optimistic for my daughter in this era of change and (fingers crossed), lasting progress. Stay strong ladies, log off Instagram, stay motivated, and be sure you secure your own oxygen mask before helping others.
Amen!
sasha lindberg
? yes.
So much wisdom here. A lot of our experience is just plain old luck, the privilege (or not) of the class and race and country we are born to. I agree so heartily, do your best, take what works for you and leave the rest, judge not (yourself and others) and care for yourself as well as you care for those tiny humans. And log off. At least for long stretches, log off all of it.
Laura Weismann
I love the slow cooking video article thank you
Taste of France
Brown butter anything sounds delicious.
In line with the Bulletproof Coffee guy, I saw an insane story (NYT?) about women getting fillers IN THEIR HANDS! Will it never end?
Be careful with hand-washing cashmere. I have done it with many items, but one beloved red turtleneck went from M to size 8 years old. I tried to wear it anyway as a 3/4-sleeve, cropped sweater but the neck was just too tight. OTOH, I am glad to have avoided the chemicals of dry-cleaning for all the other items that hand-washed just fine.