Thirty Two

doughnut

You know what’s weird?  Getting older.  I think it must be weird for everyone.

I’m celebrating a birthday this weekend.  The big 32.  That just sounds strange.  I was just getting used to 30, but I feel like I’m 26.  Somewhere.  Somehow.  The numbers feel off.

I’m not the kind of person who has life goals set for each year of life.  I don’t feel behind in the marriage game.  I can barely handle babysitting.  I’m not trying to reach the top of the baking ladder… that just sounds sticky.  I subscribe to the idea that working really hard and loving people better every day will get me where I want to be each day, week, month and year.  Too loose a plan?  I dunno.  It feels right.  It requires a lot of ever-changing lists…but it feels right.

Oh, also!

I don’t make myself a birthday cake and blog about it.  Birthday cake doesn’t taste as good if you make it for yourself.  It’s a thing.  This year I’m going to eat as many doughnuts as my heart desires.  This will probably fall in the 2 to 8.5 range… I’ll let you know where I land.  Ps.  My dream birthday cake is this Angel Food Cake with Vanilla Strawberries.  Hint (Dad, do you still read my blog?) Hint.

Every year I make a list of things I’ve gained perspective on, and a list of things that I’m still stubbornly trying to figure out.  The list is as shallow as selfies and as deep as God… because that’s exactly how life is.  On the real.  On the reg.

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This Is That:  a list

(by ‘you’ I mean ‘me’, always.)

ONE: Have honest friendships.  You really can’t afford to be friends with someone who will let you have spinach in your teeth all night.  You’re not that graceful.

TWO: Take as many selfies as it takes for everyone to look good in the picture.  Come on… common courtesy.

THREE:  You only need one good purse… and it doesn’t have to be this season’s super expensive impossible bag.  Come on… a vintage Coach bag that you’ve brought back to life with leather polish is totally IT!

FOUR:  Upon entering ‘the club’ where people are drinking and dancing and acting a fool (and it’s so much fun), be aware of the fact that you look like you’re in your 30’s… because you are. You’re not fooling anyone. The 25 year old guy that yells in your ear that you look 28… he’s being nice and he’s a liar.  You look 32. It’s ok. Dazzle him with your awkward dance moves. He’s 25… who cares (not you!).

FIVE:  You glorify being busy …but you don’t know how to stop.  Maybe admitting it helps?  Realtalk:  You know what you should be glorifying.  It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with God.

SIX:  Any tiny annoyance you have before two martinis will be a big yell-y ISSUE after two martinis.  Think/Re-think those martinis.

SEVEN:  CAPS LOCK LIVING!  Think about it.

EIGHT:  You’re actually really cool. Not because anyone else thinks you are, but because you think you are.  The secret to being cool:  just think it true.  Others will follow suit.

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NINE:  Rappers rap about some stooooopid stuff that you, as a classy lady, do not need to be/concern yourself with.  Pfffft.  In their dreams.  Can ladies start rapping about men with passion, integrity, a job, and nice shoes?  Yea…. it’s like that.

TEN:  Ask yourself ‘just who the heck do you think you are?’ in a very non-rhetorical way every once in a while.  The answer is important.

ELEVEN:  It doesn’t matter what size the clothing label says, it only matters that it feels good and falls well on your body.  AKA… you’re not that size anymore, kick it up a notch, it’s cool, love your thighs. GEEZ!

TWELVE:  When in doubt (which is often):  confetti and champagne.

THIRTEEN:  Go on a roller coaster at least once a year because they make you laugh-scream like nothing else on the planet.

FOURTEEN:  Tell your parents that you’re glad they’re your parents.  They’ll be like ‘Whaaaat!?  That’s a crazy thing to say!’, but they’ll feel it in their hearts and probably buy you lunch.  Do it because you mean it… not for the free lunch.

FIFTEEN:  Chill out. Halle Barry is pregnant.

SIXTEEN:  It’s ok to say things like ‘I don’t know.’.  It’s waaaay better than arguing a point when you’re not on solid ground.

SEVENTEEN:  What does it look like to dig deep every day?  It looks exhausting, and kinda terrifying, and kinda like the best days that ever happened day after day after day.

EIGHTEEN:  Get good at a thing and never apologize for being good at that thing.  It’s all yours.

NINETEEN:  Never trust someone who refers to themselves a ‘tastemaker’.  Don’t be fooled.  You won’t be bossed.

TWENTY:  Give more, even when you think you have nothing to give… you do!  Sidenote: I bought myself a Giving Key and I’m sponsoring another child with Compassion for my birthday.  Yes… selfie birthday presents.

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TWENTY ONE:  You have a story to tell.  Everyone does!  Tell it proud!

Happy Birthday to Us!  We all have one, and I’m glad that we do!

Other times I wrote words:

On Turning TwentyOne   + What It’s Really Like  + I Accidentally Saw a Picture of You + Thirty Years of Learning 


sprinkle image credit Paola Parsons 

diva joy next to a bike image credit Whitney Adams


 

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315 Responses

  1. Happy Belated Birthday Joy!!! We share the same Birthday week. I love your blog and recipes. I hope this year is amazing for you.

    H

  2. i know that this is late, but i just read this post and i love it! i just turned 32 this year too and i’m with you on your “list”.. it’s funny how as we get older and more comfy in our own skin, you realize the simplest things and it just feels right (say it loud, say it proud!). happy belated birthday! and i’m totally with you on numero doce.. confetti and champagne (and oysters!)

  3. Joy, you bring me joy. No, seriously. You and your sage words lift me up every time I feel like life just ain’t going my way (like when the love of my life and I broke it off. again. three days before my 31st birthday. I feel you.) and they compound my delight when the world is bright and sunny and things are going swimmingly. Your talents in the cooking realm are obvious, but you’re also amazingly good at reminding your loyal readers how to love life. And not just love it in a cliched Hallmark sort of way, but really love the shit out of life, squeezing every last drop of deliciousness and wonderment and unbridled glee out of every minute. You exude it. Thank you for managing to break through the impersonal bounds of the cold computered internets and bring genuine warmth to every one of your readers.

    Happy birthday to us. This is going to be the best and tastiest year ever.

  4. This is fantastic! I rarely read read all the blogs I follow because lets be honest I really just like pretty pictures. But this, this honest birthday note was fantastic. I just turned 33 and totally feel you on the numbers don’t add up, and yay for your giving key (i still have mine, the hubs gave his away last year) and we also sponsor kids through Compassion! #greatminds. Anyway, loved this and happy birthday!

    xo Mandy @ Waiting On Martha

  5. I really love lists but yours is especially great! I picked some of your goals and made them my own now ;-) Thanks for sharing and happy belated birthday!

  6. Happy Belated Birthday, sweet Joy. I can’t forget your bday b/c it’s my anniversary (although I always forget my anniversary…;) Love your reflection posts. Your “I accidentally saw a picture of you” post was really cool. And yes to 21…we do all have a story to tell-thank you for the inspiration xo

  7. Love this piece of writing! I’m only 21 (well to me I really feel like I’m getting older, even though I know those older than me would tell me to CALM DOWN, but you know, it’s so relative). But I still feel 18. When I was 18, I felt 16, and so on…

  8. “I’m not the kind of person who has life goals set for each year of life. I don’t feel behind in the marriage game. I can barely handle babysitting. I’m not trying to reach the top of the baking ladder… that just sounds sticky. I subscribe to the idea that working really hard and loving people better every day will get me where I want to be each day, week, month and year. Too loose a plan? I dunno. It feels right. It requires a lot of ever-changing lists…but it feels right.”

    HOLLA, at this point I would add an exclamation point but my keyboards broken but I think you hit the nail on the head with that. I live my life according to what feels right for me and I have never been happier.

    Happy Birthday Joy, you’re the best

  9. Love lists like this. And love coming to realizations as you (and by you I mean I) get older. Hope you had a lovely birthday. (Clearly, I’m behind on my blog reading.)

  10. Happy Birthday, Joy. As one 32 year old to another (33 in three months aaaahhhh!) I felt really blessed to reading your list. One thing I do relish in my 30s is that though life is just as hard as in my 20s (I’d say harder, but that’s probably not true… blessings abound), I do like that I feel like I’ve got things a teensy bit more figured out than I did before. And it sounds like you do, too. High-five 30s style (not sure what that is, but it sounds good). God bless.

  11. These are awesome! I write similar realizations every year and I love looking back and some of them!

    My fav is:

    TWELVE: When in doubt (which is often): confetti and champagne.

  12. It’s funny, but I love making my birthday cake. What I love changes from year to year and often isn’t really found at a bakery, so it is nice to make something from a blogger or modify something I love to be my own.

    Though if I were to be completely honest, I think my favorite would be anything with lemon curd. It is hard to beat its sweet tartness.

  13. I absolutely love this. My 29th birthday is in 2 weeks and I am struggling with the fact that I am entering the last year of my twenties. My this helps me realize that I am getting wiser and better with each year, not just older.

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  15. A little late to the game but just read this post…Happy Belated Birthday! We’re totally friends but you don’t know it yet…I LOVE Compassion and friends who tell me I have weird stuff in my teeth, so I know it’s for real.
    Keep doing the fabulous work you’re doing!
    Kelly

  16. Happy birthday!
    may you always be young in your heart, and always have that kind of funny-and-candid-but-really-really-true words of wisdom to share with us!

  17. Have followed you for a while but never commented. RE number 16 – so very true; sometimes that’s the best answer you can give. RE number 14 – also true. My mother lost her year-long battle with cancer earlier this year. On one of my last visits to see her I told her, “thank you for being my mom.” It was really important to me to share that sentiment with her because it’s something we just don’t do enough, and I couldn’t stand the thought that she would leave this world not hearing that from me. Thank you for sharing your list of wisdom and happy birthday.

  18. Happy Birthday Joy! It always feels good to read your posts. You give so much…your words really do spread joy! Thank you, and I hope all your wishes come true. xo

  19. I hope you enjoyed your birthday and someone made you that lovely cake! I always enjoy your blog, especially ones like this that always seem to give me the perspective on life that I need. Thank you so much!!

  20. Happy Birthday!!! I love your posts like this– so relatable. Enjoy your birthday donuts, and I think your philosophies sound awesome:)

  21. Thanks Joy. I really enjoyed reading your list. It has helped put things back in perspective after a weekend feeling down and depressed after my birthday on Friday. 34… ouch!

  22. Joy,

    Happy Birthday!!!

    I’m feeling like I’m in my 30’s but I’m 48!
    I love where I am, you do too. :)

    Celebrate BIG!

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  24. Happy Birthday Joy! Love your words – they provide time to pause and think amidst the busyness! Thanks for continuing to inspire!

    Although I might keep pretending I look 28 for another year… :)

  25. I love this. so well said.
    and as a belated birthday gift for myself I am also buying a Giving Key.

  26. Happy Birthday Joy! I’m turning 40 next week and I still can’t believe I’m at this point in my life. I don’t feel that grown up.

  27. Happy Happy. I received a B-day card at 40 that read “Life begins at 40”. Nope, not for me – 50 was my breakout year! YESSSIR! You have a whole heck of a lot to look forward to!!!! Enjoy.

  28. happy birthday, joy! you are such a wonderful person. i hope you get that birthday angel cake! :) cheers.

  29. I don’t know about the not cooking your own birthday cake thing. I have every year since I turned 20 (I’m 31 now, only about 2 weeks ago :) ) and I love it. Well… mostly I love it because otherwise I would have a store bought or a box cake. But I do enjoy picking some super crazy awesome cake and trying it out. I pick a different one every year.

    But anyways- Happy Birthday!!! *<|:D

  30. What a beautiful birthday post! I love how comfortable you are with your 32-year-old self and all of the wisdom you shared . . . Especially the part about glorifying God. So true! Love it!
    XOXO

  31. Happy birthday!! (it’s Saturday here already in Australia)…. And you know? I’ll be 32 tomorrow on the 26th. Am totally feeling you.

    The only way I can really sum up how I’m feeling about this age bracket is that I’m “in the thick of my 30’s”. That I can’t say I’ve “just turned 30”, no, I’m entrenched, going through the times. And it’s cool, it’s pretty OK.

    Your list is fabulous (as are you!) as always. I hope you have a most wonderful day!

    xx

  32. you’re just the best. seriously. i’m super glad you were born to make us all smile and share yummy treats and deep thoughts :)

  33. Joy, I love you. I have a big (30th) birthday this weekend and I was feeling grouchy until I read this post. Happy birthday to you and all the other May babies!

  34. This is an awesome birthday post, the way your entire blog is awesome!
    I just wanted to randomly comment about how I started reading your blog about a month ago, and the way you write and create and take photos of your creations has been so inspirational for me. It’s just very…delicious…

  35. Joy, you are truly, truly beautiful inside and out. I read and re-read this about 5 times. So profound and deep and amazing. May God shine His awesome face brightly upon you in your 32nd year. You are so, so great.

  36. All great tips! Love the one about roller coasters its so true and its hard to think of other things that make you so scared/happy at the same time.

    And urgh I’m 24 and I feel old at “da club ” haha.

  37. joy you are just so rad! thank you for being such a wonderful role model and your positive person in this world. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

  38. Have been a follower/girl crusher/fan/friend/fellow baker for the past couple years but have never commented. I LOVE your birthday list idea. My birthday is this weekend as well… yet another reason I knew I liked you, heyyyyy gemini… and there is no cake making in my future. I did however make two pounds of bacon last night? Nothing says happy birthday like chocolate-peanut butter covered bacon, right? Happiest of 32s to you! xx ab

  39. Happy birthday, Joy! I turn 30 tomorrow (Saturday) and I have to say that as (un)expetedly as 30 seem to come flying out of nowhere, I’m so ready for it. And I never thought I’d admit that, EVER. I like myself so much better now than I did at 20 or 25. I like my LIFE so much better now. I know who I am (kind of, sort of) – I’m married (never thought I would be) – I have a KID (like, whoa…Joy, can’t even tell you how much I REALLY thought I’d never have one of those) – I started a photography business (WHAT?!). I honestly can’t wait to see what this year brings…only good, positive, life changing things…right?

  40. This is like a self-help book just when I needed it. This sounds weird to say on a blog comment but I’m going through a bought of hair loss that was basically a punch in the gut to my self esteem. Sometimes, advise like this is exactly what I need to remember that I’m more than my dang hair. Thanks Joy!

  41. Happy, happy birthday! I love coming here for recipes AND words!

    btw, what is the cookies and spilled milk font? I must have it! :-)

  42. Miss Joy, I love this list!! And I loved being reminded of your post “I Accidentally Saw a Picture of You”. It’s one of my faves. I wrote a similar post recently for the big 35. It’s good, this reflection stuff. Happiest of birthdays to you, pretty lady. 32 is a good year. xo

  43. Happy belated birthday, Joy!
    I hit 30 this year and it felt like the world was definitely going to end. Not only did it not end (unless I’ve missed something) but I’m realising that I spent the last 30 years growing and suspect that this decade is about blossoming and really digging in to our excellent selves. And eating nachos for breakfast. Because being a grown up means you can make your own perks.
    Love love love these lists of yours – serious wisdom – thank you so much for sharing them! x

  44. Happy Birthday! The dance club reference made me snort into my coffee, hard. Who do I think I’m really fooling?? Hope you get your angel food. :)

  45. When the i’m-way-behind-on-lots-of-things-you-should-accomplish-in-life – mode strikes i try to remember to ask myself if the “should” is mine or if it belongs in the glossy/look great on facebook/general idea category.

    ps. hope the 2-8,5 doughnuts was for your birthday this year and not the year :)

  46. I’ve been reading your blog forever, but I’ve never commented before. I love this. You’re a big inspiration to me! I hope you have a wonderful birthday.

  47. Joy,

    Thank you so much for mentioning Compassion and the Giving Key. Giving back is so important! I’ve never heard of Giving Key, but I try to help with the homeless community in Washington D.C. as much as I can and I so appreciate it when someone in the spotlight (be it an iced and sprinkled one) bring awareness to people in need. Toasting you with champagne this weekend!

    xoxo, Paige

  48. Happy belated 32! I turned 40 this year and also live a little loosely, not in a skanky kind of way. :-). The older you get the more comfortable you become with who you are. You seem like you are already there….that’s a gift. Love your blog….have fun celebrating you!

  49. Happy birthday Joy! I’ve celebrated mine this week too :-) Always love you’re advice, especially the one about getting someone else bake a birthday cake for you ;-)

  50. Happy B-Day! Hope you have a great weekend the calories don’t count on your bday so make yourself the favor and eat as much donuts as possible.
    We are also having a big bday bash this weekend my hubs turned 30 and I will follow suit on September.
    I am making a chocolate cake with chocolate filling and chocolate frosting for him as well as a lot of other goodies.
    As for the age thing when does anything is really figured out, I am still trying to figure out what I am going to be when I grow up, Meanwhile I am enjoying my family, my toddler son and food.

  51. “The 25 year old guy that yells in your ear that you look 28… he’s being nice and he’s a liar”

    AHAHAHA! I am dying right now! :) Too funny!

    Happy happy birthday!

  52. Happiest of Birthdays Joy!! my Momma’s birthday is this weekend as well. I’m a baking something, I’m a cookin’ something, and it might be from you blog… strawberry bread was a hit…

  53. happy birthday…

    i turn 32 in a month, and yes i feel its totally off too… always thought would ‘know’ once i am past 30… am still fumbling… so guess its a lifetime of that :D

    hope you had a great day.

  54. Oh, Joy. You are inspiring and lovely. Your just words posts are always my favorites, rare though they are. Happy birthday.
    -A loyal 19-year-old reader

  55. Happy, Happy Birthday. This is so wise and wonderful and lovely. I’m going to tuck it away until September, my birthday, and maybe re-read it between now and then, when I need reminders of the good things. Hoping your new year is full of beauty and laughter and deliciousness.

  56. Happy birthday Joy! Please tell us what sort of donuts you opted for! Continue sharing your words when you can. Inspired as always.

  57. Holy crap! We have the SAME BIRTHDAY!!! 5/22/81, best day ever!!! Hope you had a great one! 32 is gonna be a good year!!!

  58. Whatever age I am, I think it’s the BEST age. “Hey, you know what?” I said to my kids a couple of years ago, “48 is the best age ever. If I’d known how great it was going to be, I’d’ve turned 48 years ago!”
    Ha ha! for 50, I got my first tattoo. I’ll get another one when I turn 60. Caps lock on all the way, baby.
    Joy, you are so well-named. Thank you for shining the way you do, every day. A very happy birthday to you.
    Passing your list on!

  59. Happy Birthday Joy! I love your writing/blog/recipes. Especially love your outlook. I’m passing on your list to my daughters. Thanks.

  60. Happy Birthday Joy!!

    Your words and positivity are truly inspiring and you are wise beyond your years. I hope you have a wonderful Birthday…eat lots of donuts, drink some wine (maybe not with the donuts, although depending on the wine it might not be horrible. i don’t know, nevermind. lol) have fun and enjoy your day :D

  61. I’m also going to be 32 in December. I can’t believe it’s here. I blinked and here I am. I am more secure in myself than I ever have been. Getting older is fabulous :)

  62. I love this. And lady – would you please write that book about cookies and spilled milk? I would read it, and I already love the cover.

  63. Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday Dear Joy…Happy Birthday to you! Thank your parents for us too…for giving us you! What a celebration! Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom. As much as I favor your posts on sweets to eat I really savor these posts of what you’ve learn so far in your 32 years and are generous enough to share them with all. Wishing you all your heart can hold! xo

  64. Happy Birthday Joy! I love your blog and always look forward to your posts. Have a great weekend and keep being you!!

  65. I hope you have a fantastic birthday this weekend! I just turned 32 on Tuesday and I, too, am unmarried, unkidded and really content with that, so it’s super fun to see someone else in the same life stage and joyful about it. Keep up the fantastic writing – you’re making days better just by being you!
    Mae

  66. Happy birthday lovely lady! You are always an inspiration. :) P.S. printed out your angel food and vanilla strawberries recipe, will be devouring it soon.

  67. Dear Joy,

    Happiest of birthdays to you! I love your observations and quirky sense of humor. May you get that fav birthday cake real soon! Love you!

  68. I’m not sure if I have commented before (even though I make your awesome recipes all the time!), but I had to say that I loved this post and your self confidence. Even though I am only 17, I still thought that this had a lot of great things for me to learn and remember. Thanks Joy, and happy birthday!

  69. Thankyou Joy. I’m turning 30 next month and can’t deal. This list makes me feel better about it.

  70. Happy upcoming birthday, Joy! I love your list!

    I don’t make my own birthday cake either…just wouldn’t taste or feel right. My treat of choice is ice cream, lots of it and in many forms, on my birthday! I reserve the donuts for my 7-year old and stack it up like that for him with the candle. He loves it! Say cool! ; )

  71. Happy Birthday Joy – Enjoy the your day. Take your picture even if you feel fat on that day, because I assure you 25 years from now you will smile and say “look how slim and pretty I was back then!” Also I fully agree with rule 2 why is it your artistic and talented family and friends take crappy pictures (passive agressive what!?!) make an effort.

  72. Happy birthday! And I just wanted to say how awesome it is that you are sponsoring another Compassion child. That deserves extra donuts in my book.

  73. Thank you Joy. So many thank yous! Happy Birthday.

    I just unsubscribed from a feed a few minutes before hopping onto your blog and felt totally understood when I read # 19 on your list.

    :)

  74. Yay almost-birthday buddy! I turned 26 two days ago, and i’m exercising my hostess skills this weekend for a birthday dinner party. Because what’s more fun than to cook dinner for other people on/near your birthday? That’s not sarcasm. I actually love cooking for people.

  75. Happiest of Birthdays, Joy! You are such a rockstar. I have no doubts that this next year will bring deep fulfillment, challenge, and happiness into your life!

  76. I HAVE THE PERFECT IDEA FOR A SELF BIRTHDAY PRESENT!!!

    Catalina express is having a promotion so you can go to the Island for free on your birthday! I never thought I would be back in town for my birthday but this year I am making it, (possibly you are on Sunday as well???)
    And I will be going over and staying the night with some family.

    You should totally make a day trip of it, it’s BEAUTIFUL over there if you haven’t been before, it’s a great place to spend the day and bum around. ESPECIALLY when it’s FREE.

    Anyhow, Happy Birthday! Eat lots of doughnuts, and maybe I’ll see you biking around Santa Monica or Venice while I’m in town next week and I’ll be all OMG IT’S JOY THE BAKER ERMAGERD ERMAGERD and you’ll be like, wow. Okay looney go away.

    … er, sorry, I had some sugar…. But anyhow, yes you should totally go to Catalina for free on your birthday because it’s beautiful and your beautiful and you deserve it!

  77. Happy Birthday!!!! May all your wishes come true.. *smiles*
    Welcome to the wonderful thirties…and many more fantastic years to come!
    Have a awesome day ahead on this special day of yours!

  78. Happy Birthday to you Joy! I sponsor 3 lovely little children through Compassion, and I actually just got a letter from one of them today! I love their notes and pictures and drawings. I might be biased, but I think that might be your best birthday present to yourself. Enjoy your day!

  79. Joy, you are a gem. I’m 32 today… and I think, *ahem*, I know it’s going to be the best year yet. Let’s show 32 who’s boss by having donuts and milkshakes for dinner. Boom boom pow.

  80. You are seriously THE BEST and this is my favorite thing ever: “You know what you should be glorifying. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with God.” AMEN.

  81. Happy Birthday Joy
    It doesn’t matter how old you are you always feel younger.
    That is a great list.

  82. Happiest of Birthdays to you, Joy! I love the list, especially #5. I hope this year brings you unexpected joy and an abundance of blessings :)

  83. Thank you Joy, I really LOVE your lists. Soon I am turning 30 and you inspire me with nearly every post on your blog not only to bake but also to make my own list ! Happy Birthday to you! :)

  84. Loved this! Happy Birthday Joy!
    You bring so much joy to my life, so keep doing what you’re good at. And you’re good at this. But you already know that, because you’re cool. And you’re cool, because you know it.
    I love the one about loving you no matter the size. Wear clothes that show how cool you are. Because you love them and you love you. Perfect.
    And yes, never make your own birthday cake. If someone doesn’t make one for you, get one at a bakery. Heck, tell them its your birthday and 9 times out of 10 you walk out with a free cupcake. Because they know you should never make your own cake.
    <3

  85. Turning 32 myself in 2 months time…
    the feeling is exaclty how you described it, in your first sentences of this post.

    Things are even more blurry when you live in a country where there is nothing left to trust.. I mean big things.
    But then again it might be the small things and ourselves we need to trust and rely on.
    …and -hopefully- we’ll always have doughnuts!

    Happy Birthday!
    You ‘re special and you deserve every single thing you gain.
    Keep on inpsiring the rest of us!

    An.

  86. Happy birthday sweet Joy! Your words made me think and feel really happy today. Jeff says Happy Birthday too!
    We love you!
    xo

  87. Happy Birthday, Joy! I turned 40 this year and had a hard time even speaking the number, but I have come to find out that 40 gives you license to be yourself like no other number so far. You have much to look forward to. Have some champagne this weekend and toast yourself for being so inspiring. :)

  88. We share the same birthday! Thank you for posting your list, wonderful reminders and challenges. Here’s to an incredible year! Hoping you have an especially lovely Sunday.

  89. This is fantastic!

    I’m turning 32 in a few short weeks as well and I’m SO stealing this. It’s exactly where I feel I am in life too(your posts are usually pretty spot on!).

    Thanks for consistently making me smile with your posts and happy early birthday!!

  90. Happy Birthday !!!
    I watch your blog more than year and today i find the courage to write you. The pictures are great. The second picture is familiar to me. ( it looks like a video: HOT Fudge MILKSHAKE. This video always lifts my mood. It is very optimistic and feelgood.
    Happy birthday again. Greeting from the Czech Republic

  91. Hey Joy, Happy Birthday! Just saying, you are literally the best. :) Thanks for reminding me that I am cool just cause I actually know I am! Oh ya, I’m cool! I almost forgot! After a week of getting fired, starting a new job, getting a bad haircut and running into a middle school friend (awkward mess), I loved reading this post and this post totally helped me. Cheers girl!

  92. Happy birthday Joy!
    I so admire your humor and your humility.
    and, I have baked my own cakes before, while its not as fun as having them baked for you, nobody else would have made me chocolate raspberry cheesecake!.

  93. Hi Joy,
    My birthday is the 26th… I always love reading your birthday posts because they feel like a present to me! I’m going to be 33… loved your line about feeling like the numbers don’t match somehow. I imagine this feeling gets stronger and stronger as the years go on.

    This is also the first year that I’ve been hit with the awareness that the image of me in my head isn’t matching the image in the mirror. Where did all the grey hairs and smile lines come from all of a sudden? I don’t mind the smile lines. Could do without the grey hairs. :)

    Happy birthday!!

    Jen

  94. Happy birthday, Joy! I got pregnant at 32… so it’s a beautiful age…(for everything!!! not to put pressure :) )
    Now at 34 it’s getting better and better. Enjoy!!!
    Martina

  95. Happy Birthday! Your lists are always print worthy, sorry forests everywhere. It’s your birthday but you are sharing such wisdom, and from someone so young. Thank you and I hope you have a wonderful year filled with good things to eat and great friends to share with.
    Karen

  96. What an absolutely lovely birthday post. I’ve saved it in a special spot for when I need a little inspiration, pick-me-up, or am feeling uncertain about my own guts. Have a beautiful day Joy. And thanks for the yummy food and pretty pictures. OH… by the way… I spent all of 2012 thinking I was a year younger than I actually was due to poor math. All straightened out now. xo

  97. I love the way you always own it, Joy! Your lists are always something special. Happy birthday to you! The internet is a better place with you in it :)

  98. Just wait. If you think turning 32 is weird. It gets much, much stranger. What I’d give to be 32 again… Happy birthday. All the best!

  99. I love reading your word posts. They are always so beautifully written and they are completely raw but in a comical yet serious way. Happy soonish Birthday, Joy! *<]:o) <—- guy in a party hat

  100. I might have to stop reading your blog because every time I do I get depressed that we aren’t friends. You’re the coolest!

    Also, you absolutely do look 28.

  101. Oh my goodness what beautiful words. I hope you have the happiest birthday and that you love each bite of donut. I may even have one on your behalf. Wishing you many blessings and reflections in your next year.

  102. 1) Happy Birthday!!

    2) # 12 . I agree: apply when in doubt, but also when in thrilled-beyond-belief certainty :)

    3) #18. YES .

  103. Happy Birthday, and I will have a sparkly donut in your honor today. 33 was the very first age I hated as I too, loved being 28. But now I look back, I do feel wiser at 40 as I have gained wisdom, experience, and more confidence along the way to where I am now.

  104. That was so wonderful. I enjoyed reading it and btw, I’m 20years older than you and still feel like I’m 26.

  105. Dear Joy. Happy birthday to you this weekend. I have been following your blog for probably 4 years now and often feel like your words are so genuine. I turned 29 this year and although I am not 32, I feel like I could say very similar words to myself. These words you wrote are important for no matter how old you are. This post inspired me and as this long weekend is coming up, I think I will make a belated 29 year old birthday list myself. My number 1: be honest with yourself. Thanks Joy. Always a pleasure reading your blog and recreate your recipes!

  106. Happy Birthday Joy!!!

    Your words are wise and touched my heart.

    I hope your day is filled with love by being surrounded by loved ones.

    Happy happy!

  107. “Can ladies start rapping about men with passion, integrity, a job, and nice shoes?” Haha! Loved this!

    I’m right behind you, turning 32 this summer. I love reading your blog, baking some of your recipes to share with my loved ones, and listening to your podcast with Shuts to coast through the end of my work week. Just know that you bring smiles to people in places far and wide, and I think that is pretty cool. Thanks friend!

  108. Happy Birthday and Feliz cumpleanos Joy! Thank you for being you and sharing your stories with us, your readers. Your blog is constant source of inspiration and beauty that I look forward to in my day. Much love.

    Amanda

  109. It’s already been said, but #16 is HUGE. As a science-chick, and a fan of life-long learners & enthusiasts, I now use it as a barometer.

    Frequently the people whom I will end up liking and admiring the most (and whom I believe are the most reliable, info-wise) are the first to say, “I don’t know.”

    And it’s a MAJORLY important step in the scientific process: having the intellectual bravery to say “I don’t know.” or “Why the heck did that happen (the 99th time out of 100)?” v. stuffing the errant result out of your brain & crossing it out in your notebook–although I totally understand that inclination.

    It took me a while to get the confidence to say it, but now I’m all about it. If I meet someone and early on they unreservedly say “I don’t know” they get at LEAST 20 points from me. Probably 25.

    Another bonus: listening for “I don’t know” weeds out the B.S.-ers. Which is always a time saver. Always.

    Happy birthday, smarty pants!

  110. 6, 9, 12 – yes. And an even bigger yes to your plan – I call that (in all seriousness) a structure for success.

    And happy birthday!!!! Go doughnut/confetti/champagne wild.

  111. 6, 9, 12 – yes. And I think your loose plan is perfect – I call that (in all seriousness) a structure for success.

    Happy birthday!!!! Go doughnut/confetti/champagne wild.

  112. Happy birthday Joy! I think reading your blog would make anyone feel young. I love your spirit and authenticity, it always brightens my day.

  113. I love your doughnut cake and hope you get that angel food cake as well. that is my favorite – my mom or grandmother always made me an angel food cake for my birthday when I was l was growing up. I love the gifts you got for yourself, especially the Giving Key. I give those as gifts all the time, they are wonderful and so much more than the sum of their parts.

    happy birthday joy!
    “There is no old age. There is, as there always was, just you.”

  114. I heart you Joy, I really do. It’s like at times you are in my brain – for realsies. I wish you the very best birthday and thank you for that website compassion.com. Nothing makes my heart heart more than a child in need.

  115. I turn 53 this year. But, when I say it, or look at the number, I giggle. It feels very strange. It feels like I should be turning 33. But I FEEL like I’m 26. I think we all do, really. (Although, my bones would sometimes disagree. My brain wouldn’t though.) Perhaps, we have three ages: our chronological age, the one we think we should be, and the one we feel.
    Deep thought for your day. :-)
    In any event, Happy Donut Eating Day!

  116. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
    Adorable post! We think very similar thoughts and feels…and I love that!
    Number 12 is my Motto, fo sho!
    TWELVE: When in doubt (which is often): confetti and champagne.

  117. love you Joy!! I wish you a very happy and healthy year. 32 was my best year ever!!!! I wish the same for you. see you on the bike path!!!!!

  118. Jooooooy,happy birthday almost-birthday-twin! I love your perspective (I think we share a similar approach to life and birthdays). I’m moving towards 30 and I feel damn good about it! Who needs to worry about whether the guy in the club thinks I’m 28? I look great for 30 :) And you are fabulous at 32. xoxoxo

  119. Happy Birthday Joy! I’m totally on board with the thighs things. Let them jiggle, let them wiggle, it just makes my walk all that more interesting lol

  120. Happy Birthday Joy! I’m totally on board with the thighs things. Let them jiggle, let them wiggle, it just makes my walk all that more interesting lol

  121. Happy Birthday Joy!
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us – Good thoughts for everyone to reflect on.
    I wish you a most happy birthday full of wonderful surprises and your favorite things!!!

  122. a very happy birthday to you joy. i turned fifty six months ago and it was then that i started to think of myself as cool. and i am you know!

  123. My birthday is this weekend too! Only I’m turning 32… minus 12. Either way, if I am anything like you when I turn 32 I’ll be a very proud lady, indeed. You inspire me every day! Happy birthday, Joy!

  124. Why are you so amazing? I do am turning 32 this year, but feel impossibly 25, although I don’t want to be 25. I have never been able to dance well, but I do it with reckless abandon anyway. Just because it’s fun. And I dance all up on 25 year old men because they’re adorable.

    Happy birthday!

  125. Not to be a number four, but at the book signing I would have sworn we were about the same age, and I just turned 26 last week. Also, go you cuspal gemini!

  126. Pretty sage advise for such a young one. Remember, age is just a number. Mine’s much higher than yours, and I don’t act it either. Have a wonderful birthday & enjoy those donuts!!

  127. What a great list! Thanks for sharing the idea and the thoughts and for the shout out about the giving key…wasn’t aware of them until now. Happy Birthday!

  128. Happy Birthday, sweet Joy! I hope you had like 9 doughnuts and that your dad baked a cake for you. Loved your list. #18? Thanks for that one. You’re truly an inspiration and I hope this year is wonderful for you!

  129. My absolute fav is #9 – you nailed it on the head. As a 55 year old mom of a newly minted high school grad, this whole post is a must read. Keep up the fab work, you brighten my life.

  130. happy birthday to you! mine’s today and i baked myself a little cake last night – otherwise i won’t get cake. :-)
    hope you have a wonderful birthday!
    blessings
    ~*~

  131. Happy birthday Joy! I wish you more and more joy everyday (noe, not your name, that dictionary’s joy). And yes, I think you’re one of the coolest girl on planet! Baking and talking (I mean, writing) like that? If I ever wanna go to the ‘other side’ or somehow transformed to a man, you’re on my list! After Emma Stone of course. Well, I wish you a great great day and even more greater life ahead. Amen.

  132. Happy, happy birthday! I’ll be 29 in October and I’m still convinced, for whatever reason, that I’m 23. Go figure.

    Hope your day is full of love and donuts.

  133. Happy Birthday to you !!!! Wishing you a year filled with wonderful things. I love reading your blog. I have gotten delicious recipes and wonderful insight.
    Thank you so much !

  134. Happy Birthday! I just turned 55 on the 14th. I think your life plan is perfect what better than to work hard at what you love and love others. You are great, and I hope this year shows you we all get better with age.

  135. Happy Birthday, dear friend. You add Joy to our lives. Rejoice,
    give thanks and celebrate. Give your MAMA a big hug when you finish eating the cake your Dad baked for you. Go in peace and keep smiling,
    keep singing. You are well loved.. Betsy (an old lady in tennis shoes
    once upon a time from Pasadena and M.B.)

  136. happies of birthdays joy! you deserve lots of doughnuts for being such a positive inspiration. celebrate!!!

  137. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOY! 32 is just a number. I will be 40 this year and I don’t look it or feel it. Thank God for that. They say the 30ies are the new 20ies. hahaha

  138. Happy BIrthday. I had my 48th last week. I am still single and have decided to keep it that way (was not part of my long term plans when I was younger). I have no idea how you became so wise so young. I only figured some of what you already have figured out a couple of years ago. My newest “discovery” is “I am responsible for my behaviour (I’m Canadian, we spell things differently than Americans). I can control the behaviour of me, and no one else. The only way I can influence anyone else’s behaviour is by serving as an example; better to be a good example than a bad one. I may not ever live up to my full potentional, but I like my job and my life the way they are, and that is enough.” The gap between mental age and physical age changes, some days it is small, some days it is huge; some days I feel older than I actually am. others much younger, both are okay, and either way I can still do what I have to.

  139. happy day, sweet Joy

    In honor of your special day, I’ve sponsored a Ugandan girl through Compassion. You are very special!—thanks for the reminder to always give a bit more!
    Mary

  140. Happy birthday! Sounds like you have a nice birthday planned. Love the doughnut idea lol. Hey it’s your birthday you can so as you please. I’m a new reader I truly enjoy reading your blog.

  141. Happy Birthday, Joy! Number Eleven….sigh…so true. But I disagree on the birthday cake. It absolutely tastes good when you make it yourself. Especially if you’re a control freak like me.

  142. Happy Birthday Joy!!!! Hope you have a lovely day. You are a lesson in being humble and thankful, two things I try to be every day.

  143. My birthday is tomorrow and I’m the family baker so I’ll be baking my own cake. Suggestions? I’m either thinking fresh & fruity or chocolate decadence. I’m turning 29!!!

  144. good list :)

    Happy birthday – wishing you a stellar year, meaning some fulfillment, some fun, some growth

    I sponsored another compassion kid as my birthday gift to me last year too – better than new shoes yes?

  145. Twice your age and I also feel 26!!! Happy, happy birthday and may all your wishes come true!!! And please always feel 26……..

  146. Happy birthday to you, my future in the next week, for the first 32 times, I do not intend to own bake a cake. Love your place, do have a wonderful. 32 is not really just about the old we become smarter. After all, you would not say it all, if you do not will be 32.

  147. Happy Birthday Miss Joy! As one of your readers, I am thankful for having you in my life here in bloggy world. You bring wit, charm, and wisdom just when I need them. On this bday I wish you tons of positive energy! Enjoy your donut celebration, I’ll be raising up a donut in honor of you this weekend ;-)

  148. I just joined the 32 club, too. (Does January count as just?). It’s SO weird, but life just keeps getting better doesn’t it? Totally amazing. Also, yep – vintage Coach cross-body bag thrift store find = also totally amazing. happy happy 32!

  149. Happy Birthday Joy!!!
    I am also 42 and feel like I’m 20,
    I must say, 32 is a great age, looking back it was a great year for me…

  150. six is so real. wish my 25 year old self could’ve read this list a few years ago. happy birthday joy!

  151. Happy Birthday, Joy! I think you totally nailed what it’s like to be in our early thirties. I just turned 31 two weeks ago, and it’s funny because I was totally okay turning 30. I *feel* 30 where I am in life (so glad I’m out of that 25 clubbing stage). But now that I’m 31, it means that I’m officially in my thirties! What the heck, man? That sounds scary, but I’m going to rock it. You are too, especially with those rules.

    <3 Carolyn

  152. hands down best number on this list for me is number 9 – LOVE it!! I’m 26, and forget it all the time. I totally remember being 20. These are great things to keep in mind for any age, joy! Have a great birthday weekend :)

  153. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOY! I’ve been following you for years now (that sounds kinda stalkerish if read out of context O_o ) I love your blog. the food, the pictures, your words. you are a wise lady and I hope that your next year is amazing. I look forward to reading more and seeing more snapshots of your life! Enjoy your donut celebrations. xxx

    PS I turned 31 this year but in my head Im stuck at 24 – whats up with that? I think that in my head that just might be the age Im always at?

  154. Beautiful. I’ll be thirty-two in a month. It is strange getting older but each year comes a new adventure to conquer. Love everything you do, Joy. Happy Birthday.

  155. happy birthday, and a great list of things to do, be grateful for, and to avoid! i hit the 30 year mark a few months ago. i’m very much looking forward to my 30’s as i feel i am becoming more me; taking more chances and feeling more confidant about who i am. thank you for sharing this :) have an awesome weekend celebration!

  156. Happy Birthday, hope its a lovely one! I just celebrated as well and I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who writes lists and letters to self on the day. I like some of your reminders though might need to journal those in!

  157. Happy Birthday from someone who has seen sixty-three years and going on thirty. Life is not a number and I can see you know that from this post. Have a ball every day, no matter where that roller coaster of life takes you, enjoy the ride. There will be days that coaster will go downhill and it feels like forever when your waiting for it to climb but when it does WOWyou find out the ride of your life was worth everything you have gone through. So again HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you enjoy the ride and have a donut for me. Paulette

  158. Happy birthday! :) Enjoy your best deserved doughnuts ;)

    (This is such a beautiful post! I really need to hear or read things like that – as often as possible. I turned 25 few months ago and it was all about “oh God, I am old and I haven? done anything important yet, I’m useless person etc.”. I’m so stupid…)

  159. Happy Birthday Joy! I think it’s so important to look back on the past year and reflect on what you have gained, other than another 365 days on the clock.
    Every year I like to sit back and make a list of what I have been grateful for over the past year, and what I would like to learn over the next year. You need to look for the sunshine in your life and grow in that direction.
    Here is to another sprinkles, champagne, and sugar filled year! Happy Birthday.

  160. Very cool! I’m a newbie to your blog and I love reading it. Happy birthday…rock it girlfriend!

  161. How do you know so much?

    I actually write down some of the things you post here and keep them close by my bed for reference.

    So smart.

  162. Happy Birthday, Mine is coming up next week- also 32nd, and I don’t plan to bake myself a cake either. Loved your bits to do- have a wonderful one. 32 is not about turning old- It really is just about us getting wiser. After all, you wouldn’t have said all this if you were not going to be 32.

    p.s Have been following your blog consistently, but this post totally made me comment.

  163. Enjoyed your birthday words. Have a good one! As to being 32 and feeling like, maybe 26, I remember my 72-year-old mom explaining she felt 25 inside. Now, I’m rounding the bend to 70 in July and looking forward to every minute of being 70 and feeling . . . well . . . 70, and 35, and 12, and 27, and 44 and 51, and sometimes 3. ; )

  164. Happy Birthday, Joy!
    That’s a great list – number sixteen especial strikes a guilty chord with me.
    I’m 34 this year – and the view from here’s not so bad, but I’m still working on lots of my stuff. Have a great day – hope it brings you cake, sprinkles and sunshine.

  165. I always love your deeper thoughts posts. And thanks for the backlinks to the others so I can go back and re-live them. The Turning 21 and the Saw a Picture posts are two of my faves, ever.

    Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I especially like #18, to get good at something, and not apologize for it. Just that alone is plenty of food for thought for me.

    Have a wonderful bday and hope you’re doing something fun that you are super excited to be doing!

  166. Dang. This was all so important and the non-important things actually were. If that makes any sense. I dunno. I’m off to work on loving my thighs via a nice helping of chips and salsa.
    Happy birthday!

  167. Happy B-day this weekend with all the doughnuts, cake and sweet people in the world!!!
    In 5 weeks en 5 days i’m turning 32 (and still feel 23) and will certainly look through your list of points again then.

  168. Happy birthday! Eating donuts and sponsoring a child sounds like an awesome way to celebrate, and I wholeheartedly support eating as many donuts as you like. After all, you only turn 32 once!

  169. Happy Birthday, Joy!! Fabulous post. Enjoyed reading it. I think I’m enjoying my 30’s more than my 20’s. Well, physically, 20’s was better…but emotionally, I feel more at peace in my 30s.

  170. Happy early birthday, Joy! I think your list is great and has some important reminders about life. I hope you have a fabulous birthday week! (because a day is not enough!)

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