Chewy Cat Treats for Cats

Dear Kitten,

It’s time to celebrate two years together.

Two years of purring and tenderness.  Two years of crying for food at five in the morning.  Two years of  sleeping in what you know is my spot on the couch.  Two years of lint rolling all of my clothes.  Two years of also keeping a lint roller in my car.

Two years of tricking my friends with your cuteness and leg rubs.  Two years of attacking my shins.  Two years of belly rubs turned forearm attacks.  Two years of trying to get outside.  Two years of climbing the walls… literally.  Two years of sneaking into my food shots.

Two years of sitting in and on everything I need.  Two years of sleeping at the foot of my bed… and attacking my feet at the slightest sign of movement.  Two years of keeping me company.  Two years of scaring my catsitters.  Two years of making me laugh.  Two years of making my boyfriends run screaming.  Two years of eating exactly everything I make… including that pancake you snuck off the pan while I was photographing.

Two years of trying to convince me that you don’t love me… when I know you do… because I love you back.  And I made you treats so quit your yappin’, and no you can’t go outside.

xo.

ps.  We’ll always have Cat Land.

I made cat treats.  Admittedly this is slightly ridiculous.

Yes, I realize that I can easily pop into any grocery and buy the kitten a package of treats without making my house smell like weird, warm, wet cat food.

Aaahhh, the things we do for love: make cat treats.

Aaahhh, the things we do because we’re ridiculous: watch the entire season of Bachelor Pad 3 with rapt attention.  (Cry for help!)

I let the little guy (he’s totally not little, but he hates when I call him big-boned) get some sniffs and licks in.  Happy Birthday, Kitten.  I’m teaching you bad habits.

He was so sweet and tender as a youth.

I always knew he’d grow into his nose.

I didn’t know that he’d lose all sense of decency.

Can you teach a cat manners?  Seriously.

I let him lick the cat treat dough bowl . Just this once… and just to see if he’d like it.

He did… but he would have licked the bowl if it had mushrooms and onions in it too.  He’s a go-getter.

Note:  Cats aren’t supposed to eat onions (or garlic).  I know this.  Don’t yell at me cat evangelists.

He used to sleep in bowls of the punch variety.

I always thought it was cute.

And then he got really big.

… which kinda makes me feel like I let a bengal tiger live in my house.  (Unwise).

Kitten knows that this is my spot on the couch.  He knows darn well…

(He doesn’t care.)

He really likes when the mail lady comes.  If he could bark, I’m sure he would.

Your cat sleeps like this too, right?

Tell me this is normal.

All things considered (and I have considered all things), he’s a good helper… or at least consistent, and fluffy.

He let me get him a humiliating haircut… because he has the self-confidence to rock it.

Extreme closeup involving tiny tiny teeth.

It’s because of the tiny teeth, the shaved belly, and the constant companionship that I made these chewy cat treats.

I need to be clear.  My cat eats absolutely everything.  If I roasted an eggplant, this kitten would be all over it.  He sneaks onto the counter to steal waffles, red peppers, and scallions.  I have to keep the avocados away from him .  For this reason… it’s hard for me to say with full certainty that these are the cat treats for your cat.  Is your cat a normal finicky cat? Yea… it’s hard to say how these might go down.  You might consider the addition of such treats as catnip or extra wet cat food in the dough.  Cats have a very protein-centric diet.  These treats are just meant to be a small addition to their diet, and not meant to replace their normal diets in any way.  Cool?

Happy Birthday, Kitten!