Joy the Baker

Chocolate Hazelnut Pudding

February 15, 2012

I’m beating around the bush here… I apologize.

See, what I really need in my life is homemade chocolate hazelnut spread, I just haven’t gotten the nerve to make it yet.

What am I waiting for? I’m waiting for the stars to align and my desk to clean itself. I’m waiting for the perfect baguette to pair with this homemade Nutella. I’m waiting for a larger food processor, and perhaps new a duvet cover to languish in. I do a lot of languishing… not really. I’m waiting for cashmere oven mitts and pearl earrings…. because I’m fancy… (again) not really.

I’m making excuses. All of the recipes I’ve seen for homemade chocolate hazelnut spread call for powdered milk. Wwwhhhyyyy?? So… until I wrap my head around this concept, or figure out a way to make a bonkers good spread without powdered milk, you’ll have to settle for (dang good) pudding.

Also… instead of beating around the bush, are you actually supposed to be beating the bush? I don’t understand this.

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Life Essentials

February 12, 2012

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what is essential.

It’s hard to think of essential… because very few things are actually, very completely, essential.

Let me give you a little peek into what I find essential these days. Some of these essentials are a edible, some are a luxury, some are sparkly… it’s just a little bit of real life.

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Pink Raised Doughnuts with Toasted Coconut

February 10, 2012

I carry around a list in my brain… a list of things that I’m in love with. Actively in love with, everyday… just walking around in the world.

I’m in love with fresh ginger tea, jewels big and small, my perfect black cotton dress, girls with long wavy hair that I covet, day planners, mechanical pencils, and the smell of clean laundry.

This is aside from loving the people and pets around me. This love is separate from family and friends. This love sometimes steps to the back of my mind and I’m left feeling a little blaaaaaahhh…. until all the love comes rushing back and I remember that I’m totally in love with my life.

I mean… think about it. Despite its messes and disappointments… and bills, there’s a lot to be in love with… even if it’s just the smell of your new shampoo, because it reminds you of toasted coconut.

I made these pretty pink doughnuts, and shared them with friends. I decided that this Valentine’s Day… it’s important to be in love with life.

I don’t even care how cheesy that sounds… because it feels good, and tastes bonkers awesome.

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Arroz con Pollo

February 7, 2012

One a scale of 1 to romantic… where do you fall?

I fall at the medium-low level… let’s call if a 4.6. Go easy on the candle light, long stem roses, and limo rides (unless there’s a hot tub in back). I don’t need jewelry, but diamonds are always nice (it’s a paradox, I dunno…). Carriage rides? Meh. Horse rides? Cooler. Horse ride followed by margaritas? Now you’re on to something.

I’m not the heart locket and stuffed animal type. I’m more the Le Creuset and expensive chocolate type.

I also think large pots of warm rice and chicken are an 8.7 on the romantic scale.

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Coconut!

February 5, 2012

I like coconut quite a lot.

I love coconut. It’s important to me.

It’s so important that this is the perfect time and place to expound my love in link form.

Real Talk: I spent the morning in the kitchen with a new coconut recipe that bonkers FAILED. I’ll get coconut, hazelnut, and chocolate together somehow. It’s in the future.

Coconut Almond Chocolate Biscuits. ((coconut flakes!)) With cherry jam? Much success.

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Simple Edamame Toast

February 2, 2012

For lunch… let’s be real… it’s not always fancy salad and irresistible pretzel dogs.

Usually, at the lunch hour, I open the fridge and pile whatever I’ve got onto a few pieces of bread. There’s usually salt and olive oil involved. I believe that those are ingredients that belong on damn near everything.

Remember when I made this simple lunch?

Yea… more things on bread with salt and olive oil.

Dinner and dessert are a different story. Something warm and tender is awesome for dinner. Chocolate is dessert… even if it has black beans in it.

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Mini Pretzel Dogs

January 31, 2012

I think I’d like to write a book about how to make friends, entitled How to Make Friends, the almost fairytale.

Chapter One

Once upon a time there was a lonely girl who had but one friend… her snaggle-toothed mother. One day, in the kitchen, she stumbled upon a rare and delicious combination. A combination never before discovered in the land of Lonleyia. Warm, soft, salty dough met with… hot dogs.

It was as though rainbows, unicorns, and friendly hobbits had descended upon this special girl. People came from far and wide to sample her new found delicacy and friendships blossomed abound. It was like Springtime. Springtime of friendships.

Even the girl’s snaggle-toothed mother made a friend or two.

Never again was the lonely girl lonely (or hungry)…

The end.

Yea… my next book only has one chapter, one recipe, and about 34 words. No biggie.

So! You have two options here. You can re-read this story and go take a nap OR (and I totally suggest this next option) you could make these pretzel dogs this weekend, serve them with spicy mustard and cold beer, and make (or solidify) friendships of your own.

Choose your own adventure. No bigs.

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Roasted Winter Citrus

January 29, 2012

I’m 87% sure there’s nothing you can do to ruin these perfect creations.

Winter citrus is sparkling!

If I could wear these citrus segments as earrings… I would.

Let’s roast these beauties!

I know. Weird.

Weird… but totally incredible. Warm and salty sweet citrus bites.

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ENJOY! subscriptions open again!

January 26, 2012

January 29th 2012 UPDATE:

Thank you to everyone who signed up for this round of subscription gifting. I’m so excited to get gifts in your hands! Subscriptions are now closed and will open again at the end of April 2012!

Gifts just get better and better! Be a part of the fun come April!

- joy the baker

ENJOY! is a subscription gift program. It’s a mystery gift delivered right to your door. Like a wine of the month club… only better!

Every three months I pair up with a different cool, quirky company and hand-select a unique little gift package for you. It could be a cool kitchen item. It could be something for you to carry in your purse. It could be a little something for your vanity. Whatever it is, it’s a new and exciting thing that arrives in your mailbox every three months. …We’re not talking freebies or samples… we’re talking full-on awesome gifts!

It’s easy! Every three months, you get a gift!

What was the last ENJOY! gift?

For the last round of gifting I worked with a Los Angeles company called Poketo.

Poketo creates “art for the everyday”. They work with artists and turn their work into awesome everyday things like wallets, stationary, calendars, plates, and these awesome clay chain necklaces that I’m obsessed with. With Poketo we gifted cool wallets and arty calendars. Surprise gift success!

Read on… sign up! (I’m bossy.)

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Chocolate Beet Cake with Beet Cream Cheese Frosting

January 24, 2012

Hey Dude (that I’m currently dating),

We need to talk. It’s about your mother.

Mostly… it’s about how I need to meet your mother. We’ve been carrying on for a while now… and I need to meet the lady that birthed you, clothed you, slapped you upside the head, and made you the awesome man you are now. If I don’t meet her soon, she will surely think me some sort of hussy harlot who was born in a barn and doesn’t much care for other people’s mothers. This is not the case. I care about most mothers, often.

It’s a lady thing that perhaps you don’t understand. I need to be nervous. I need to bite off all my nails. I need to agonize over the perfect outfit that will make me look sophisticated, but sweet and approachable, womanly without being more womanly that her. I need the outfit that says I can damn well take care of myself, and keep her dear and darling son in line for the rest of his life. It’s a fine fine fiiiine line.

I need to let your mother look me up and down in examination. I need to stand there and let her envision me as her daughter-in-law. I need to eat her casserole, express my desire for the recipe… then I need to do her dishes.

I need to let her tell me how to do things that I already know how to do, like make a pie, and pluck my eyebrows. We need to watch 60 Minutes together. She in her recliner, me sitting on the floor. I need to offer to bring dessert. She’ll make a face when it’s being served, and enjoy it despite herself. It’s all a dance. Every moment of it. It’s all a test… because mothers do not let their sons go quietly… they let them go passive aggressively.

Lastly, she needs to see that I make you happy. That’s where you come in. Don’t act weird. Well, don’t act weirder than you usually act. Be natural… and put your arm around me once in a while. It’s your job to make sure that no one gets a third glass of wine. That’s when things get weird.

It’s also your job NOT to tell your mother that there are beets in the cake I’m serving for dessert. That will be our little secret. Unless she loves it… then I’m taking all the glory.

Cool.

Love,

Joy

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Crunchy Kale and Coconut Bowl

January 23, 2012

You can and you should. Work hard. Don’t stop. Unless there’s wine. Drink it. Then work harder. If people don’t get it. Lose em. Find people that do. They exist. Make them your friends. Go thrift shopping. Buy skirts. Talk about ice cream. Make the world more beautiful. That’s our job while we’re here. And [...]

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Spiced Almond Steamer

January 21, 2012

Not everything requires a bowl, a mixer, whisk, and measuring spoons. Sometimes the most delicious comforts come out of milk, spice, and heat. I’ve been keeping it pretty simple in the kitchen lately. You know… trying to treat my body right, and such. I’m also trying to stay far far away from the Winter cold [...]

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Strawberry Cucumber Smoothie

January 20, 2012

This is not a cheeseburger. This is not bacon. These are not peanut butter and chocolate cupcakes. These are not doughnuts nor french fries. Oooh how I wish these were all of those things. Instead… this is health. It’s health that tastes good and makes our bodies feel like they can leap like superheros, with [...]

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Vanilla Bean and Cocoa Nib Meringues

January 18, 2012

Have you ever spent a hearty sum of money on something… and then didn’t want to use it because it was so expensive? I sometimes feel that way about my couch. Ok… I didn’t spend a ton of money on my couch… but, well… it felt like a lot of money at the time. As [...]

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Savory Cornmeal and Chive Waffles with salsa and eggs

January 15, 2012

There’s something about a giant stack of waffles topped with butter, powdered sugar, and maple syrup that puts me in an un-fightable, resistance resistant, afternoon coma. That really… and I mean reeeeaaalllyyy pisses off the workaholic in me. She hates napping. The waffle-aholic in me? Well… obviously she thinks her workaholic counterpart should just chill the [...]

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Green Pea Pesto Ravioli

January 13, 2012

This is total brain food. If you think you know what I mean by that… think again. This is the sort of dish that you can make seated at your kitchen counter, or at your the desk that you’ve cleared off, or sitting on the floor beside the coffee table. This is the sort of [...]

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Smashed Raspberry Chocolate Chunk Pancakes

January 10, 2012

Some things I know to be true things for me: True: Gin martinis are best, most immediately and with olives. True: sometimes painful sacrifices are made for fashion… especially when it comes to wedges. True: In my life, Hemingway and Julia Child are devoured in equal amounts. True: I will always eat a doughnut. It [...]

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Roasted and Shredded Beef Sandwiches

January 8, 2012

Dear New Year, Here’s the deal! I like carrot sticks. I’m going to keep eating those. I like oatmeal cookies. I’m going to continue to consider them a breakfast cookie. I’ll drink green juices. I’ll even like it. Also… I’m going to continue to follow 3 people on Facebook that I don’t actually like. It’s [...]

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Triple Chocolate Black Bean Brownies

January 6, 2012

I was skeptical. Sure… I’ve heard people talk about beans in brownies, but really!? Must we really put beans in our brownies? Isn’t that just like having a CNN news break right in the middle of Teen Mom 2? Kind of a bummer. I was skeptical and I was dang wrong. Beans in brownies is [...]

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A Balanced Breakfast

January 5, 2012

Yes… it’s that time. Vacation is oooooovvvveeeerrrr. Our inboxes are filling up. Official mail (you know, like bills) are overshadowing the friend greetings and holiday cards in our mail boxes, and the gym sure is calling… isn’t it? Yea. That carefree week between Christmas and New Year’s Day is long gone. Major bummer. Before we [...]

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